Sexless Blues

Lately, it seems as if my sex-filled self has been missing. For once, I feel like I’m in a sexless rut, all of a sudden. The images of sex that used to be easily conjured and physically felt haven’t been present lately, and it’s made me wonder about it, more than once.

There have been many nights where I’ve been lying naked in my bed, touching myself, and I feel my clit raw and rough. No matter of rubbing would make my sexual desire rise from within me, and I feel frustrated. In my tired brain, I think of a sexual scenario in my head, something from my recent past, and I can’t fully conjure the visual – it’s as if I can see it in my head, but it’s clouded in a fuzzy haze, and the emotional attachment that made me see that visual in my head seems as if it were far away, like I was watching frame snapshots move across a screen, then disappear into my mind’s abyss.

Maybe that Chris incident has left me feeling a bit numb about sex. Maybe I’m just a bit disappointed that he called me again, after not hearing from him, only to reach his voice mail once again a few days later. Maybe I’m the type who needs to be emotionally stimulated to feel the sexual rush, feeling like the Energizer bunny, charging with sexual tension and desire. Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t felt sexy in a while, and I’m needing a little attention. Maybe I’m just feeling a bit lonely and want someone near me to cuddle up in my bed, surrounded by a blanket, naked under the sheets. Maybe I just need someone who’s around a little more, to make me feel like a natural woman.

For once, the sex confessor is confessing that she is feeling sexless right now, and a bit lonely.

I guess we all have to suffer through the sexless blues, and it’s not fun…it’s hard to not feel wanted when she really would like to, but then again, what can I do about it?